Don’t stack your shit on top my shit

There’s something that people do that has bothered me for many years when they are unhappy. I thought it was just something that happened at the gym with people, but then as I reflected on it, I figured out that it is human nature and something most of us do.

When the shit hits the fan in some aspect of our life. We go to low blows.

What I mean by that, is when we are in a bad place, or going through a rough time, we start to crap on the stuff that’s easy to crap on. Hang with me here……….

-Your anxiety is high……..you start complaining about the wait time in Starbucks

-Your marriage needs some work……..you start to blame it on the kids’ schedule

-Your kids are behaving poorly………you start to blame the coach or teacher

-Your not happy in your own skin………..you blame the gym you go to

We look for the easy way out.

When folks start having to deal with tough life stuff, guess where the gym falls on this list?

Pretty low.

People can say it is important, but when push comes to shove, it gets shit on.

When people start to go through some real life challenges, all of a sudden, the class schedule is “not working”. (even though it has been the same for years)

All of a sudden, the “programming” isn’t working. (even though hundreds of others see gains with it each month) also: side note….it’s never about the programming, unless you are the top 1%.

All of a sudden, people don’t “have people to push them” or “where are the guys?”, or “where did so-and-so go?”. As if, any of this has anything do with the real shit you are dealing with.

And when I say “shit”, I mean it out of love. I know some “shit”. And I know, seriously, I know what kind of “shit” you guys have going on. It’s my super power, remember. 😉

Guess what happens after the above comments start getting made? I know the process oh so well.

We start looking for others to jump on the struggle bus bandwagon. We can’t suffer alone. We need others to suffer with us.

In my business, that looks like all the above quotes made to other people in the community. Because, “I know there must be others that think the schedule sucks, even though it’s not the schedule it is <insert personal struggle> that I am really dealing with.”

And, that’s when I have to get involved.

You see, have you ever done something super cool or been super excited to go do something and someone that your with thinks it sucks? I think of when I was young and would go to an event or party with friends and I’m having a blast, and then all of a sudden your girlfriend comes over and says, “this sucks, let’s get out of here.” Ugh, that’s the worst. You are torn. Do you say “no, this is awesome” or do you play it off like you kind of agree or do you just cave?

I’m talking about the same sort of thing here.

It’s like raining on their parade.

They come in to class all excited and fired up, or maybe not, maybe it has been a struggle to make it in but they have carved out the time and fought to break away from work and/or life to get their workout in. And, there you are, ready to pounce. Ready to get them on your side. Ready to announce your unhappiness like a gender reveal.

And it goes for any business. It doesn’t just work for mine. You can drop in any business and especially service industry into this box. Ever been to a restaurant and loved it, only later to learn that someone you know hates it? Again, you get that torn feeling.

And, so for years, I would think to myself, “Why are they doing this?” Don’t they know this is toxic behavior?” Then, I realized, that they don’t know they were doing it. 🧐

I could see it, mostly because I am hyper aware of the community and the experience that my members receive. But, they don’t see it. And on top of that, we probably all do it in some aspect of our life. 

They don’t know they are doing it, until maybe, some time has passes and you can reflect on it a little. You know the drill, you react a certain way at the time, and it feels so right, but then a few months go by and you think, “man, I was a real ass hole.” Never had that happen? Lucky you. I have spent about 90% of my life feeling that way.

So, I challenge you to be hyper aware of your self, your actions and your words? Are your words and actions hurting others? Even though they do help you justify. Are you helping anyone else around you by saying or taking action to justify your feelings?

Remember, you aren’t the only one going through stuff. Everyone is challenged by something, and no one needs your stuff on top of their stuff.