7 Things that I’ve Learned Owning my Business for 7 Years

NO ONE CARES

This is probably the most important thing I have learned  and something that has created a lot of mental freedom and emotional healing for me. 

People care about their own schedules. They care about their own family, their own jobs, their own businesses, and so on and so forth. That might sound harsh and unkind. 

But, once you realize that nothing your clients, or potential clients, or people in general are doing has anything to do with YOU, it truly is freeing. 

Worried about making the wrong decisions? No one really cares. 

Worried about making a mistake? No one really cares. 

Worried about what people are thinking about you and your business? No one really cares. 

No one cares that you’re busy. They’re busy too. 

No one cares that you’ve got a job and kids, they do too. 

No one cares that you screwed up or you looked like shit today, because they have been there too…or, they are thinking about other shit besides what you looked like that day. 

By realizing that it isn’t all about you, you can actually have more empathy for everyone and everything else. When you realize that everyone is just doing the best that they can with what they have, and their decision making doesn’t have much to do with you, you can spend time doing the best you can do and forget the rest. 

ACCEPT HELP, BECAUSE PEOPLE WANT TO HELP

I want to piggyback and first realization with this one. Equally important and probably just as life changing is the realization that people actually want to help you. 

While, they all have their own stuff going on and might not be too worried about your troubles and tribulations, most folks when asked – will help. 

I know this, because I have had some tough situations, whether it be moving an entire gym in 1 day, moving 2 houses in 1 day, fixing a leak, or figuring out how my kids were going to get picked up and brought to their activities, our community of people have stepped up and helped in an overwhelming way. 

When someone tells you they are willing to help you, they actually really want to help. I had a mentor once said that when you don’t take someone up on their offer to help, especially when they continually ask, it’s similar to rejection. That advice has since, changed my life. 

On the flip side, I actually had to get comfortable with allowing people to help me. That was actually the much harder part. Like many people, at times I either felt guilty about accepting help, or a bit like a failure, or embarrassed. Those were all feelings fueled by ego, that I have had to let go. 

WE ARE MORE ALIKE THAN WE THINK

When I first opened our gym 7 years ago, I really did think that people, in general were very different. I felt like there were age gaps, and differences in economic circles, and even differences between what people looked like and weighed. I was wrong. 

Almost everyone is dealing with the same stuff. Regardless of what people look like; most struggle with body image of some sort. Most struggle with feeling loved, accepted, good enough, accomplished, etc. I’ve learned that those are things that make us human and make us “care”. 

These similarities are one of the biggest reasons I started my personal podcast and vlog; Regina’s Roundtable. We all want to think that what we are going through is so special to us. That we are the only ones that are busy, or dealing with relationship stuff, or health stuff, or past abuse, or other trauma……when really, we aren’t alone.

Someone, some where, before us or even right now is dealing with the exact same thing. The more we share our stories, the more we will see that. 

CALM IS CONTAGIOUS  

I stole this from Former Navy SEAL Commander, Rorke Denver, but it’s a good one and I have had to use it alot. 

It isn’t so much that I didn’t know this before owning a business, but more of not realizing just how important this would be to leading a community, handling difficult situations, building trust and getting things done quickly. 

When things are not going great or people start to worry about stuff they shouldn’t have to worry about, they are looking for a calm leader. Someone to tell them that everything is going to be ok. Someone who can calmly explain what to do next and have trust in knowing that it is all going to be “ok”. 

In every struggle that we have had to deal with, I take pride in the fact that remaining calm was instrumental in preventing chaos among a community of people and moving forward. 

SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS IS NOT A ZERO SUM GAME 

If you grew up in a competitive environment, like I did, then this will make a lot of sense. 

Most entrepreneurs are competitive people in general. We like to win. 

When you like to win and when you grow up wanting to beat everyone in everything, you think that EVERYTHING has a winner and a loser. That means, there can only be one winner. 

One of the best things that I have learned in life from owning a business, is that there is room for everyone to win. 

Just because someone else is winning, doesn’t mean I can’t win either. Just because my business is doing good, doesn’t mean that someone else has to suffer. We can all win. 

YOU LEARN SOMETHING FROM EVERYONE

Remember that terrible boss you once had? You learned something very valuable from them. 

Remember that terrible coworker who did that “thing” to you, that one time? Yep, you learned something from them. 

Had a client cuss you out before? There was a lesson in that as well. 

Sometimes the lesson takes a bit to realize. Sometimes it is an immediate slap in the face of what you should have done, rather than what you did. 

The quicker you can see the lesson and move on, the better you’ll be. 

When I am now faced with difficulty, either with staff, or clients, or vendors, I stop for a few minutes to process what happened, what I could have done differently, I thank the universe for giving me the lesson and then put out in the world how I would like that to go differently next time. Done. Move on. 

FAMILY, FRIENDS AND BUSINESS CAN MIX 

There’s no one that you can trust more in your journey, regardless of what the journey is – than your family and friends. 

They want you to succeed and believe in your more than you sometimes believe in yourself. Don’t shut them out. Regardless of what that old business 101 class taught you or that random blog post about boundaries said. 

It took me a few years to get it and to throw old “rules” of keeping family and friends out of business…….literally out the window. Forget the rules, if you can make it work, make it work. 

What has helped me with this, is being the same person inside and outside of work. If you see me at home, camping, in the gym, on the floor coaching, or in a meeting, I am pretty much the same person. (minus a little less cursing depending on the meeting and environment) 

My now friends and family all know that I like to work  – all the time. Which means, that I might have an idea sitting around the bonfire eating smores. It’s ok. Most entrepreneurs do the same thing. We run at a speed that stresses some folks out. Those are the folks that you DON’T want in your circle, we don’t have time or energy for that. AND, that is OK. It doesn’t mean that they are bad or you need to change. Keep the folks in that are energized and excited about the growth and changes and then the sky’s the limit.