Why I Stopped Drinking

When I decided to stop drinking 164 days ago, I thought of all the awesome stuff I would share with you guys about setting my goal and the journey.

But, then I passed up my goal and everything seemed so much different and better, so I kept going and didn’t say anything.

So……… now,  I am backtracking and going to give you the “play by play” of what made me decide to stop drinking and what made me continue with it. Lot’s of “real talk”, which I think is the only way to truly find happiness and make big changes.

Earlier in the year, my husband and I went and saw 3 Doors Down perform in Portland. While we were there, the lead singer shared how he had stopped drinking a few years ago. Ironically, I don’t actually remember his exact words, but something about the timing of it and him sharing his “why” it made me think, “If a rock star can do it, I can do it.”

So, we made the drive back and I decided that I would quit drinking for 100 days. The year before I had done a 40 and 60 day stint of not drinking, (just to give my liver a break and make sure I could if I wanted to), so I thought that it needed to be longer than that.

I am not a huge fan of 30-day challenges, mostly because it seems like instead of counting the days that you have made amazing changes and feel good, you end up counting the days down to when it is over and you can eat or drink whatever old shit you did before.

Not that 30-day challenges all suck. I’m just of the belief that anything works, as long as you do it and stick with it.

Knowing myself, I knew it needed to be a big lofty goal and 100 days was it.

I began talking to people about my goal. For two reasons: I knew I would have more success if I shared the goal with others and , I wanted to get an idea of what seemed like too much drinking or what constituted “casual drinking”. I didn’t really know the answer the either but felt that I was drinking too much, not just one glass of wine 2-3 times a week, and that I thought about it too much. Yes, you read that right……..I thought about alcohol too much.

You know the group of friends that are constantly discussing their next outing with booze? Or, how and what they were going to do is planned around drinking? If you aren’t sure what I am talking about. Track it. Mark down every time you, your partner, your friends during the week talk about drinking. I work in a freaking CrossFit gym and it is a lot! Let me tell you.

If you have a great life, sleep well, don’t feel like you need to lose any weight, and are fulfilled to the highest potential………..then it probably doesn’t matter and we should all be reading your post rather than mine.

But, what I found……….was that I wanted to do more things in my day. That I didn’t want to feel tired anymore. That I wanted more energy and to have less mood swings. That I wanted to recover better from my workouts, that I didn’t want my kids to think that I “needed my wine” or any sort of “alcohol to hang out or chill out”. As funny and cute as it seems when your kid mentions that at the preschool mother’s day tea or on your mother’s day poster they made at school, I don’t want it to be me. 

So, I quit drinking alcohol.

There were a few hard times, but for the most part, I didn’t feel deprived.

100 days makes you commit through holidays, parties, good weather, bad weather, stressful times, happy times, and everything in between. You know…….all the excuses we tell ourselves as to why we can or can’t commit to something.

Two of the three times during the past few months that I really did want to drink were very sad and stressful times. We lost a friend and member of the gym to cancer, kids stress stuff, etc………but that was reassurance that I did not need to drink. To drink and eat while stressed or sad, is not healthy, and I don’t want to do it.

Not drinking during parties and social occasions created more confidence that just built momentum in my journey.

I feel more in control of my life and my body.

I cannot remember the last day I felt “run down” or “tired”. Ok, maybe that one day when I ate a giant maple bar. 😔 

And as that 100 day target drew closer and closer, I kept thinking that I wasn’t ready to open up the gates again. I felt like if I drank at that point, then I would just go back to drinking on a regular basis and that is definitely not what I want.

I have a good friend who is probably the most healthy person I know. They have ate and drank so well and for so many years that it is completely natural and part of our their life. In a way that is opposite to almost all of the rest of the world. When I sat and talked to her about my goal and thoughts, she told me that she has maybe 2-3 glasses of wine…………not a day, or week, or month………a year!!!! I was like, “WTH”????

If you’re anything like me, that kind of seems unbelievable. But, something that I want. Because I feel good, I feel more under control, I feel more healthy and in return feel happier.

So, the 100 days came and went. I’m still tracking, because tracking is fun and it keeps me accountable to myself.

Maybe one day, I will feel like changing that up a bit. Not sure, but, if you feel like doing something or feel like you want to change something in your life. Do it. Don’t wait for a 30-day challenge or a friend or a spouse to decide for you. I don’t really feel like lasting change happens that way. It has to come from within, just for you, by you.